I was 16 when i didn’t get my periods for two months straight. It was worrysome. I was feeling bloated, anxious and irritable all the time. I didn’t know what to do. I told my mom about it. She decided we go to a doctor who asked us to get a Sonography. The reports came with something that said “multiple cysts found”. PCOD wasn’t a common term five years back and hence, reading those words were scary. Questions like what kind of cysts, could it be malignant, is it curable coming up in our heads. When we went to the doctor with the reports she prescribe a few medicines that helped me get my periods but once the course was over, i was back to square one. Then i decided to take a second opinion and this gynecologist told me it wasn’t possible for me to have PCOD as i was “underweight and not “overweight” and hence asked me to stop my medications immediately. I did as advised but the results kept getting more disappointing with every passing month.

I took to google and read a little about what PCOD is and how it can be cured. The only solution apparently was lifestyle change in terms of healthy eating and exercise. Being a dancer at the time, exercise wasn’t an issue. I somehow kept losing hair even after revising my diet several times. It began to take a toll on me. The constant guilt of eating the “wrong things” or not exercising enough was a burden that became too heavy to carry around. On some days I needed sleep after immediately waking up from an eight hour nap. I used to have multiple breakdowns due to hormonal imbalances. I even put on a lot of weight around my belly that made me lose my confidence and i stopped dressing up how i used to, always wearing clothes that were a little loose so my belly wouldn’t prop out.

Over the years, it’s been a struggle. It hasn’t been easy waking up with excess hair on body parts that wasn’t there the night before or not understanding why it’s hard to fall asleep or even why diet and work out are not helping me lose weight. But i’ve been dealing with it like 4 out of every 5 women do in India today. I wish to conquer it one day like it conquered my self esteem and confidence years ago. I refuse to let it undermine my ability now and i hope i can continue to do so, no matter how long it takes.